I find myself dying every night,

I find myself dying every night, drowning in sadness and falling apart. I couldn't help but to cry silently. It's so hard to be both sad and hurt, to feel something that's slowly killing me inside. I beg God to take away my pain for I am so desperate to be okay. But still, I don't understand why it doesn't fade away, the pain is so real and I am so tired of dealing with it.


I desperately want to be healed. I want to stop feeling hurt and feeling unhappy. But I don't know how. Every night, I cry because I couldn't accept what's happening to me. Do I deserve to suffer? Do I deserve all the heartaches that I am feeling right now? Why does life have to be so hard? Am I a worthless person to be this hurt? Did I hurt somebody else to deserve all that I'm feeling right now? I don't understand. I've treated everyone with kindness. I've loved and cared genuinely. But why do I have to be in pain? Why do I have to be this sad?

I'm tired of feeling this way. But does anyone even care about what I feel?

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