I hate every part of me, you know.

I hate every part of me, you know. I hate myself when I am alone because I make impulsive decisions that are no help at all.
 It feels like I am ruining everything and my mind is not with me.


 I am always like this when I am at the frisson of uncertainty and exhaustion. I know it’s normal, but I just can’t control my emotions. 

What makes it harder is the thought that it’s fine for me to say I am okay even though I’m truly not just because I don’t wanna make my family worry but sometimes, it’s just too heavy to handle. It’s crazy to think about, right? I know. That’s why I’m trying to fix every part of me that’s hurting today so I won’t break them again sooner. I’m trying to make my decisions right so I won’t regret them at night. I’m trying to learn how things will work out for me without getting others involved in it. I'm trying to regain my strength to start again.

I’m dealing with my life messily but please, don’t leave me here yet. Give me enough time but don’t leave my side. I might desire to be alone unannounced, but I still need a companion most of the time. 

—Dia
Artwork by: 700_illust

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